My elaborate daydreams of having a baby always featured the coolest of the cool gear – the swiveling space station stroller, the handmade wooden block set, the boutique matchy-but-not-too-matchy three-piece outfit. And then I got pregnant. Maybe it was because we weren’t exactly rolling in A) space, B) money or C) time, or maybe my newfound mom-ness turned me practical over night, but all I wanted was the smallest amount of the most necessary stuff.
But, oh mama, did I want a Mamaroo.
I convinced myself – and my husband – of how sleek and modern the futuristic not-a-swing would look in our living room, gently swaying back and forth, moving our little bundle of joy in such a natural motion he or she would sleep peacefully for 14 hours. The first time we gently set our sweet burrito baby into “the spaceship,” as we called it, I squealed with joy. She could’ve cared less – that time and every other time we put her in it. The movement? Meh. The nature sounds? Not impressed. The clean lines and striking turquoise and stimulating mobile? <shrug>
So when we moved cross-country when Girlfriend was three months old, we left ol’ ‘Roo with a little friend who loves it. I could’ve felt sad, or stupid, or at least broke – but letting go of something that wasn’t working that I bought lightly used and could pass along to another bouncing babe sat just fine with me.
Eight months in, we’ve used and abused and kicked to the curb a lot of stuff. Here are my commandments for a space-, wallet- and sanity-friendly approach to the baby gear circus:
Thou shall not:
- Buy it if you can get it free. One of the many upsides of that time in life when your entire Facebook newsfeed is baby pictures is that your friends with babies also have baby stuff. Newish parents love to talk about their journey and help new-new parents get going in the right direction – so we were lucky recipients of lots of previously loved goodies, which came with our parent-friends’ stamps of approval and a low level of risk. Don’t be shy: it’s 100 percent OK to ask whether friends have items you can borrow.
- Buy it new if you can buy it used. Used kid-stuff stores and used kid-stuff sales are great places to find gear for a third of the retail price. But dig around for Facebook and other neighborhood groups for buying and selling gear – the items I got this way often came with the bonus of meeting extremely friendly and generous moms in my ‘hood. (Note: Experts recommend purchasing new car seats and car seat bases, unless they are not expired and you know for a fact that they have not been in even a minor car crash. We bought our seat and all accessories new.)
- Buy it now if you don’t need it ‘til later. The temptation to aim the registry gun at that Exersaucer is real – but so are small closets. We tried to limit our list to things we’d need in the first few months. So when the time came, we knew our little critter well enough to know (not guess) that the winning saucer would need to bounce. A lot.
- Try to keep up with Baby Jones. Everyone’s needs and budgets are different – know yours and stick to them. Trust me, the parents on the other end of the grocery aisle are too busy trying to figure out how to recline the seat of their $800 stroller to notice your diaper bag is so last year’s color. But…
- Fear the splurge. Pick a thing or two that really matters to you for whatever reason and spring for them. We chose a fancy jogging stroller because we’re a family of runners, and a Cadillac changing pad because fluids. We still gush about both to anyone who will listen.
Thou shall:
- Make life easier. People love to tell you that “babies don’t need much, just your breasts and some diapers!” True? Yes. A little more complicated? Uh-huh. My husband’s and my grand dreams of minimalism came crashing down real fast when we realized we had no idea how to care for a tiny human and that if a few pieces of gear – like a straw snot sucker – could help us do it better, we were all in.
- Meet your unique needs. The registry checklists you googled will say you absolutely must have a bassinet and a bouncer and a car seat caddy. They lie. Just because you’ve never had a baby before doesn’t mean you don’t know what’s best for your space. We use a clip-on travel highchair and go baby monitor-less in our tiny home, and we haven’t turned into pumpkins yet.
- Give yourself permission to give up. Babies have preferences. They also outgrow stuff, by size, by weight and by phase. If Junior doesn’t like the Mamaroo, part ways (check). If you realize your beast of a pack ‘n’ play is really only useful as a second changing table, trade it in for a lightweight travel crib (did that). If your seven-pounder makes your structured baby carrier seem like overkill, pack that sucker up for six months until you’ll love it (that, too). Letting go of things that don’t work – maybe now, maybe ever – gets you much-needed extra space in your brain and your closet.
- Pass it on. See how awesome No. 1 is? Pay it forward and help a new mama (and papa) out. If you have a handy tip or sweet memory related to the thing you’re handing over, even better – because the sister/brotherhood of parenthood is only a little bit about things anyway.
- Never underestimate Amazon Prime. Because any baby gear you dream up can be on your doorstep in two days or less.
Don’t sweat it. In the end, it kind of is just about your baby, your breasts (or bottles) and diapers. Lots and lots of diapers.
