Let’s Stop Talking About Breastfeeding

Let’s stop talking about breastfeeding. And while we’re at it, let’s stop talking about formula-feeding, too.

I swear, every time I turn on the news or scan my feeds, there seems to be another story about feeding our babies. With every scroll, I see a new post on why we should #normalizebreastfeeding, why breast is best, why formula is best, why to feel guilty, why not to feel guilty, how people have succeeded, how people have failed, and the list goes on. There is no shortage of opinions and encouragement and personal accounts documented all over the web for every type of mom who has a baby to feed. And when I first became a mama 18 months ago, I loved it. I had access to viewpoints galore, right at my fingertips. I was glad to have so many resources and insight into first-hand experiences from women just like myself. But after a while, I began to notice that the more I read, the more I began to worry, and judge, and question, and second-guess my own choices as a mom. At some point, the relentless talk about how, when, and why we should or shouldn’t feel guilty about feeding our child a certain way stopped being helpful and started making me overthink every decision I was making. I started to wonder why we just keep talking about it, ALL.THE.TIME.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that most of the posts and articles I see are shared with good intentions. Women are attempting to support one another, build each other up, and do what’s best for their babies. But, I have to ask. How much is too much? At what point are we unintentionally feeding insecurities instead of quieting them?

It’s been almost 6 months since I stopped breastfeeding my daughter, and still, I find myself questioning my decisions. Did I quit too soon? Should I have pumped more and saved up more stock? Did I enjoy it enough? Am I a bad mom for being relieved when I was done?

And the more I think about it, do we really need to #normalizebreastfeeding? Or formula-feeding? Or pumping and bottle-feeding? Or breastfeeding until our children are 6 months old? Or breastfeeding until our children are 4 years old? Because, if you ask me, feeding our babies is already as normal and natural as it comes. So why do we have to keep justifying how it’s done? Why do we spend so much time talking about it?

I swear we have another “National Breastfeeding Awareness Week” every month. Awareness for who? The few idiots who will continue to make stupid comments no matter how many photos of boobs we post on our Instagram accounts? And are we really changing the minds of the intolerant with these photos, or are we just making the moms who wanted to breastfeed but couldn’t feel guilty by constantly shoving it in their faces? Quite frankly, I wish we could all just stop worrying about the few nay-sayers, the uninformed, and the dumb-dumbs of this world, and feel comfortable and confident in our choices, no matter what those choices are. I wish we could trust that we are doing what’s best for our babies and stop worrying about reading 10,000 opinions on the matter first. I wish we could stop talking so much about it, and just do our thing. Afterall, we just happen to be doing the same thing mamas have been doing since the beginning of time – using our mama instincts, and raising our babes the best way we know how to.

Back when my mom was raising me and my siblings, there was no internet. There was no Facebook, or BabyCenter, or online forums. There weren’t thousands upon thousands of mommy blogs for her to scan and scour. And you know what else? She probably second-guessed herself a lot less too. She probably wasn’t constantly bombarded with opinions. She did what worked for her and her babes, maybe asked her pediatrician for advice from time to time or checked out a book at the library, and that was that. And you know what else? We all turned out to be happy, thriving human beings.

Had I never read a single blog post about breastfeeding or formula-feeding, about justifying our ways and sharing our stories, I’m guessing I still would have figured out what was best for my daughter too. I still would have fed my baby and made sure she was healthy and growing and happy. I would have figured out what worked, and I wouldn’t have thought twice about my decisions. I would have spent my time worrying about more important things.

I know this might sound harsh or rude. And maybe I’m the only one who feels this way.

But I wish we could stop worrying about how we feed our babies, and start being thankful that our babies are eating at all. There are countries in this world where children are starving. There are countries where children are being abandoned. There are countries where women aren’t even allowed to have children.

So, let’s stop talking about how we feed our babies and spend more time talking about the things that really need our attention.

Because, I trust you mama. I trust you to do what’s best for your baby.

Now, let’s just drop it and let moms do their thing, capiche?