Oh, motherhood.
It is an all-consuming role. The moment we take it on, life changes. We think about it, read about it, write about it, and even argue about it, non-stop. And that’s because we FEEL motherhood so immensely, don’t we?
Oh, to describe the feeling of motherhood. How does one even begin to try to?
Motherhood is like the clock that won’t stop ticking. The minutes can feel like an eternity. The clock ticking, ticking so loudly as we look at it once again, wondering how we can possibly kill three more hours until bedtime when 10 minutes feels like forever. The ticking only gets louder when we’re away from our babies, each minute we’re gone, the ticking in our heads reminds us that they are waiting for us to return.
Until one day, we look up at the clock, and suddenly the ticking is no longer accentuating the dragging minutes, but instead, how quickly the minutes are flying by. Out of nowhere, it seems that clock has started ticking so fast and furiously that all we want to do is rip those hands right off. We want to freeze time. Out of seemingly nowhere, not only have the long hours passed, but so have the years. The baby sitting next to us is no longer a baby at all, and we just can’t get time to slow down.
That darn clock just keeps ticking. Try as we might, we just can’t get it to behave. Motherhood is like the clock that won’t stop ticking.
Motherhood is like swimming in the lake. One of the hardest parts is jumping in. You somehow have to propel yourself from your comfortable spot on the dock and into the unknown waters. You don’t really know what lies within them. It will probably be cold, like, take-your-breath-away cold. There might be weeds. The fact is, you don’t really know for sure what those waters hold. No matter how many books you read or forums you browse, eventually you just have to dive in, head first. And so, you do.
At first, the cold water takes your breath away. It’s uncomfortable but exhilarating at the same time. You flail and tread, until eventually, you catch your breath. Slowly, you start to get used to the water. You start getting a little more confident, swimming further away from shore. Somedays, you feel like you’re floating, enjoying the water, and other days, you get stuck in the weeds, convinced you will drown, that you’ll never make it. The longer you’re in the water, the more you forget about the shock and pain of that initial jump, until eventually you’re too busy swimming to remember it at all. Instead, you’re just swimming along, being a mom. You’re doing it without even thinking about it. Motherhood is like swimming in the lake.
Or at least, that’s what it feels like for me.
But for you, it might be different. And that’s not a bad thing.
It’s so hard to put the feeling of motherhood into words, isn’t it? Like so many things in life, it’s hard to fully understand until you’re living it. And every mom’s experience is so different because every child is so different. We spend so much time trying to measure up, and nit pick, and compare ourselves to one another, when the truth is, there’s not one right answer when it comes to how to best be a mom.
So, no matter what motherhood feels like for you, remember this: The best things in life don’t always come easy. You’ll have good days and long days, downright infuriating days and blissful days you wish you could hold onto forever. It doesn’t matter if you mother like the mom down the street or the mom on Instagram. It doesn’t matter if you do things differently than some or don’t agree with every article you read or feel different feelings or think different thoughts. What matters is that you don’t give up, that you keep on keepin’ on during the good days and the hard days. And, my guess? You’re already doing that. So, no matter what motherhood feels like for you, the good news is, I’m pretty sure you’re already nailing it.
