You’ve been preparing for this moment all summer. Actually, scratch that. You’ve been preparing their whole lives. You knew the day would arrive when the little one you once held in your arms would walk into a school building with those doors too heavy for their little muscles, those classrooms that smell like freshly sharpened pencils and dry erase markers, the big gym floor that squeaked against tennis shoes, the hallways with the inspirational posters colors so bright it feels like walking into a crayon factory, a whole new world of learning forever marking the end of their little years as you know it.
(I’ll pause for a second if you need a minute to collect yourself.)
You made it through the “last summer before Kindergarten,” doing every last fun mom experience in order to properly soak up those final innocent little kid years. You did the emotional work to prepare your kindergartener for that first big day. You read every “School is Great!” book you could find at the library. You made the visits to the school playground and set up playdates with new school friends. You talked through the big feelings, met the teacher, and visited the classroom. You laid out the clothes the night before the big day, prepared the first day of school sign, and made the special breakfast. And then as boldly and bravely as you both could be, you walked your child toward the school building and into the arms of their new teacher, and yes, shed a few tears in the wake. (You may be brave but you aren’t soulless.)
Congratulations! You did it! You have made it through the first day of school. You have a kindergartener now!
But as one who has joined this Parent of a Kindergartner Club twice now, I think I know what you are thinking.
So now what?
Like any good parent in the twenty-first century, we know how to get our children ready for big transitions. We google it, obviously. And most of what we find are great strategies for preparing ourselves and our children for that first new experience in the world of school. We prepare so much we forget one important detail: there is more to school than just the first day.
After experiencing this transition twice now, most recently last year in the middle of a pandemic, there are some reminders I want to share with you, and again to myself as I prepare to do this one more time in the next coming years with my youngest, to be prepared beyond just the first day.
Leave space for shifting emotions.
You know this about children. You’ve seen their mood shift quicker than weather in Minnesota. This is just as likely, if not more, in the middle of the school year. Don’t be alarmed if the first day/week/month goes smoothly and then suddenly your child is coming home with meltdowns. For some, the weariness of a new routine takes longer to show up. Be patient and leave room for any of these big feelings, trusting they will regain their steps soon enough.
Celebrate the smaller moments.
First days of school get all the attention. What about the first finished month?! Or maybe the first time they can recognize 10 sight words! Or a random Tuesday just because! It’s important to remind a child there is so much more to school than the first and last days. Celebrate the process!
Set up a line of communication with the teacher.
As a former educator myself, I never wanted to be labeled “that parent” to my kids’ teachers, the one who nags with every email. But I learned a simple check-in to be open with a teacher about my child and their experience with school was actually supportive to the teacher in a classroom of many. A teacher appreciates knowing a bit more about your child and what to look for in their busy day. However, stay away from telling them “what works” unless they ask. Teachers develop their own strategies for supporting children in a classroom. Allow them the space to get to know your child within the classroom setting and their own style of managing behaviors.
Thank the teacher outside the first day and teacher appreciation week.
Taking a minute to send a note in the first month or towards the end of the semester is a great way to encourage and support your teacher. Volunteering in the classroom might not be possible for you, but there are many ways to encourage a teacher beyond being in the classroom. Offer to pick up any needed classroom items, sharpen pencils, and cut out supplies for a project. Knowing you are available to support their work goes a long way for a teacher’s morale, particularly in these difficult seasons of pandemic schooling.
Have conversations about potential changes.
You prepared your child for the routine and schedule of a classroom so they knew what to expect. But one of the biggest struggles we forget about is when things don’t go as expected. Safety drills can be as alarming for children as they are for parents. Sometimes teachers or other familiar support staff require substitutes. We all know how the shifting status of a virus can bring unexpected changes to routine. It’s important to let your child know that this is another part of learning how to go to school. And no matter what, the adults in their lives are prepared to help them every step of the way.
Don’t focus on measured goals.
Schools are required to complete testing with students, yes, even as young as kindergarten. Believe me, they don’t like this any more than you do. Hold these results loosely. Recognize that your teacher is focusing on so much more than the right answers on tests. The biggest goal for teachers during the first years of school is simply teaching children how to prepare to learn.
School will look different than you remembered.
There are arguments to be made for how academically focused Kindergarten has become. Requirements and expectations in our education, particularly in the midst of a pandemic, limit the free play nature of kindergarten we would love for our children. There is space for this conversation, but here I am reminding you that it will be okay.
One of the greatest struggles I hear from parents, and one I wrestled with myself, is picturing our little ones with their wild and free imaginations locked into the confines of a rigid metal desk with nothing but worksheets and a pencil all day. Does part of their day look like this? Yes, it does. But that is only a small part of the whole picture. Your child is also moving and exploring. They are laughing and singing. They are problem-solving and socializing. They are creating and yes, even playing.
And that is only in the seven-ish hours of the school day. Let’s not forget about all the other moments of their days, and their growing lives, available for creativity and imagination and play to thrive. School is only a small part of their whole learning. It’s so valuable in so many ways, but it isn’t the only chance for your child to learn.
But I don’t need to tell you this. You already know this. You’ve been your child’s first teacher after all. You were the first one to show them how to interact with the world and how to grow into who they are becoming. You’ve been preparing them all along for this year, in big ways and small. Yes, you read to them and talked to them and readied their brains for knowledge. But you also showed them what it means to learn in the community. And while there is a new educator on your team, you will always remain their very first and very best teacher.
Congratulations to you. Maybe get yourself a teacher appreciation gift. You deserve it.
