Go Somewhere (By Yourself)

Last week my husband was gone on a business trip. That meant I was alone with our three small children. He travels enough that I’m used to it, but I still get anxious every time he leaves. Miraculously, my stint as a single parent went smoother than I expected. My oldest, who is two, listened and obeyed most of the time, wanted to cuddle with me any chance he got, and was a super sweet big brother. There were a few tantrums, but his good moments definitely outshined the bad ones.

As for my twin girls, they’re in a sweet spot right now. They just turned 10 months, are quick to smile, and aren’t quite crawling yet, which is glorious. This time around I am not rushing the milestones. I know better. My world is about to be rocked when they become mobile.

All that to say, life is good right now. It was still crazy while Jake was gone, but it was a manageable crazy. Six months ago I never thought I’d be able to say that. Gosh it’s good to be out of survival mode.

Even though things went off without a hitch, when my hubby walked through the door I felt myself exhale. Whew, we made it. To top it off, he brought me flowers and a card to tell me how much he appreciated the extra work I put in while he was away. What a guy!

As great as my week was, I was on edge and craving some alone time. I wanted to get out of the house by myself. No carseats, no diaper bag, no Chuggington playing in the back. I wanted peace and quiet. But then I felt guilty for wanting a break from my “good kids.” It would’ve been one thing if they’d been crabby and screaming all week long – then I would have definitely deserved it. But they were good! Oh mommy guilt. I hate you.

Because he knows me better than I like to admit sometimes, Jake sent me out of the house, and asked me to come back when I was in a better mood. After stopping for a cup of coffee, I perused the aisles at Jo-Ann Fabric for an hour, then headed to the grocery store to wander around some more. It was completely mindless and 100% therapeutic.

(Sidenote: I posted the picture above on Instagram, but Woodbury finally has a Starbucks Drive Thru! Oh. happy. day.)

As moms I think it can be easy to underestimate the work it takes to raise our children. Often we don’t see it as work. In our minds, we’re just being their mom. We don’t try to be super mom because we want to be recognized. We want to be super mom because we love our kids. So we give and give and give.

The truth is, we’re always “working” in some shape or form. Whether our kids are younger or older, they’re always on our minds. We’re constantly wondering what they’re up to and what we could be doing to love on them.

It’s ironic though, because from my experience, when I intentionally take an hour or two for myself, I come back refreshed and ready to love more selflessly than I would have been able to had I never left. Sometimes I go to Starbucks and read a magazine. Other times I wander around at Home Goods and get inspiration for decorating my house. Sometimes I work out. Or treat myself to a pedicure. These things trigger the reset button in my mind and I’m able to return a better wife and mom.

What have you done for you lately? Does your reset button need to be pushed? Maybe you’ve been holed up inside way too much this winter. PLEASE – try to find time to get out and do at least one thing for yourself this week. You deserve it!