I gave birth to a monkey. Probably the strangest looking monkey you’ve ever seen. Instead of furry, it was completely bald. Instead of ears sticking straight out, they laid flat against its head. Instead of a red butt, it’s butt was light pink. And the weirdest part of all–no tail, but that doesn’t slow it down! I’m not sure why this monkey looks so strange, probably GMOs or El Nino or something.
We brought it home, and of course, the thing wasn’t house trained! I can’t even tell you how many times it was covered in poop. Plus, it was always awake in the middle of the night–it must be one of those nocturnal monkeys. And when we put it in the bath, half the water gets splashed out onto the floor!
Well, when we finally got the monkey under control a bit, it became mobile. Monkeys are never without their challenges, and mobility is definitely a big one! We can’t get the silly thing to stop climbing! It. Climbs. EVERYTHING.
The only thing it hasn’t climb out of yet is the small, open top cage it sleeps in. But I’m sure it’ll figure that out soon. It’s a very clever monkey.
Our family has learned to adapt to life with a monkey. Our first rule for caring for the monkey is, “Don’t blink.” If you do, you’ll probably end up finding it swinging from a chandelier. Plus, our daughter LOVES it. She thinks it’s super silly and funny, which it is. And even though it’s a weird looking monkey, it’s pretty cute to us. Yup. Our monkey is pretty great. I think we’ll keep it.
(No monkeys were in danger during the writing of this post. Daddy Monkey was standing safely nearby, but cropped out of the photos.)
