As we embark on this busy holiday season full of cheer and travel let this be a reminder to those who take advantage of designated family areas causing undue stress and anxiety to parents in airports across the country. We MUST take a stand.
Dear Business Man Who Poops in the Family Restroom at the Airport:
This bathroom is not a quiet reprieve for you to sit on the toilet and break out your iPad for a little catching up on the latest headlines. THAT IS WHY THERE IS A MEN’S RESTROOM RIGHT NEXT TO THE FAMILY RESTROOM for you, traveling ALONE. I have three children, some of which are threatening to pee their pants if we don’t use the bathroom (right this second!) before we board. Have you ever had to get your young son to hit the mark when the plane is bouncing around due to turbulence? Or tried to change a diaper in an airplane bathroom? (That’s like trying to be a contortionist in a box while trying not to smear feces on your holiday sweater!) So the fastest and safest way for us to achieve a record-breaking potty stop is the use of the family restroom provided to US for exactly that reason.
So when I see the door open and you are ALONE with your business satchel and a sheepish half smile stepping out of the FAMILY RESTROOM I want to deck you. No really, I do because now I have to take MY family of five into that very small, stinky space that you just used with no regard for us families who need to use this bathroom. (Maybe next time pack a little spray!)
We nearly missed our flight because of you as we frantically checked for diaper changers in both of the men’s & women’s restrooms while waiting for you to “drop the kids off at the pool.” And now I have to explain to my 4-year-old why it smells so bad in the bathroom and why I am so angry. And I try to describe to him in the most polite way why I HATE YOU at that moment. And believe me, I wanted to call you all sorts of names but instead I used words like inconsiderate, hurried, (or jackass. I can’t remember really.) and someone who felt that their time and privacy was more important than that of mine, my husband’s and my three children. All while clinching my teeth from aggravation and trying not to take deep breaths because of the stench you made.
So next time your tummy starts rumbling because of the micro brewed beer and airport BBQ sandwich you just shoved down your throat and you are looking for the nearest ‘loo, just remember there are moms out there just like me who truly need to use the FAMILY RESTROOM. So grab your newspaper (and don’t forget the spray!) and march yourself right on into the MEN’S RESTROOM to do your business next time okay?
Sincerely,
The Mom in the Airport who gave you the
Mom glare that you probably haven’t seen since
YOUR mom did the same to you.
And if you happen to encounter someone inconsiderately using the family restroom this holiday season, remember to give them your best mom glare! I know you’ve got it in you. Happy holidays!
23 comments
A little grace! Annoying situation? Yes? But to come into a mommy blog and rant until your your anger is extinguished? Not graceful. We, he may have been a disrespectful jerk. He may have phobias you are not aware of. He probably travels all week and doesn’t get to see his kids and is looking for a moment alone away from the public to do a bodily function. Either way, this post is appalling.
Hi Michelle,
Tiffany is writing from a humor perspective. Regardless, it is technically a family bathroom, so we stand united – families alone should use it!
That’s actually wholly untrue. “Family Restrooms” are not for exclusive family use, they’re intended for anyone with any level of disability, families, etc. It’s quite pathetic that all of you mothers immediately judge people for using these restrooms that you somehow feel entitled too. You don’t know if that man has had a double hip replacement and needs that restroom for accessability reasons. Not only that, but these restrooms can also be for people who have Paruresis or suffer from “bashful urination.” You are not entitled to these restrooms and you don’t know the first thing about the individuals using them.
“Family restrooms” are restrooms that can be used by anyone, whether by a man, woman, child, family, or disabled. This is the definition of a first world problem. There is a reason most “family” restroom signs have a man symbol, a slash, and a female symbol. It’s because it’s a universal private restroom.
Michelle, You can’t be serious. For a single male (or female) to step in and use a family restroom which is CLEARLY marked as such is incredibly inconsiderate. This is a humorous, and completely natural, reaction to that kind of situation. She didn’t confront the man. Perhaps that would be your preference? She could walk up to him at his gate, with all her kids in tow (still doing the pee-pee dance) and say, “HEY! That bathroom you just wrecked by yourself is intended for parents with children.” Would that be graceful? Should we just let that go? Perhaps a humorous rant will find some traffic on the internet and perhaps the perpetrator will read it and think that maybe he shouldn’t be so selfish next time. That’s the beauty of good humor – it’s funny and it teaches you something. This article was good humor.
Phobias or not, I can assure you that the adjacent restroom was full of men taking care of business in a cattle room who would otherwise prefer the luxury of solitude provided by a family restroom but those men chose to think of someone else instead of themselves. That’s the lesson to be learned here. How is that appalling?
You know, Michelle has inspired me. For all of you traveling men out there, I’m starting a not-for-profit, MAUPBTWIPTCOAFBTPODMA, otherwise known as “Men Against Using Public Bathrooms That Would Instead Prefer The Comforts Of A Family Bathroom To Perform Our Despicable Manly Acts”. Fellas – we’re not cattle and deserve to do our business in plush, well ventilated bathrooms too.
GREAT post and so funny (after, moreso, I’m sure!). When all you can do is laugh, go for it.
But seriously – it’s labeled family for a reason – same as the handicapped stalls are labeled such. The worst is seeing a teen couple emerge from a family bathroom…eww!
Coming at this from the viewpoint of a mom who recently took a training course through our kids’ school about protecting children and increasing awareness about vulnerable situations, I would like to echo the sentiment that this is a family bathroom for families. As a mom of 6 year old boys who are perfectly capable of going to the bathroom alone but should not enter into the men’s room alone, I can completely understand what the writer must have felt like in this situation.
Why can’t anything be read in the light through which it was written? Tiffany is clearly writing this from a humorous perspective, not everyone has devious motives set out to offend another person. Can you imagine the backlash Chaucer would have gotten had the Internet and social media been available when he published “Canterbury’s Tale?” Thanks for the laugh on a Monday!
This made me laugh! Well played Tiffany, well played.
Love this post & this writer! So funny & true.
I’ll never forget the first time I ventured into the Family Restroom with my little 3 month old to change her diaper. Still adjusting to using the changing table and juggling all my supplies, There wasn’t a changing table in the nearby women’s restroom. I was scared to death when someone BANGED on the door. I tried to hurry, only for the banging to start up again. I said “Hang on a sec, I’m almost done!” Imagine my shock when I went to leave and there was ONE WOMAN standing there, with a glare on her face like I’d done something wrong. It was crazy!
LOVE this post.
However, even MORE despicable is walking towards the family bathroom and seeing a single man also walking toward the family bathroom. And then the single man sees that you are also headed that way, so he speeds up to get to the bathroom before you. UMMM EXCUSE ME! This happened to me at a mall recently.
Ugh! So true!! People can be so rude. Next time give an audible “Pwew-Weeee” as you enter, hoping he hears! 🙂