SAHM seeking MBFF

I have a problem. It’s not world hunger, more like a #maybeIshouldworrymoreaboutworldhunger size problem. I have no mom-friends. I have friends (friends with kids even), but none of them live within 20 miles of me. In fact, most of them don’t live in the same state. We moved here two years ago and as a result of living in a triplet-toddler-time-warp and an all-consuming fixer-upper of a house, I still have not found my people. I tried chatting up moms at baseball practice. I tried setting up outings with other moms but nothing has stuck. My efforts have yet to result in any mom-dates unless Lloyd Dobler’s “I sat across from her at the mall” counts as a date.

I feel like Cat Stevens, “another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody.”

My husband and I are college sweethearts, so I don’t have any experience with online dating, but I feel like it could be useful here. Since I clearly have no clue how the whole thing works, I wrote a mom-friend classified.

SAHM with 7 yo B and 3 yo BBB triplets seeks MBFF for LTR and FTA. Must have GSOH! Prefer kids of similar ages, added bonus if DHs get along. Not WTR or even commute. WLTM for PDs and GNs as often as possible (hah!).

The lyrical version of this started with “if you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain” but then I remembered how much kids whine when it rains during playtime. Since the blogosphere allows for more detail (and hopefully fewer serial killers), here is the expanded version of what I am searching for:

I don’t care if you’re a babywearing or stroller pushing mom, a breast or bottle feeder, cry-it-out or co-sleeping parent. I’d love to hear about whatever works for you but no judging please. Age is less important than coolness. By this I mean, please do not be too hip, because I can’t keep up with that (I recently had to Google “bye, Felicia”). If you can bake, I definitely won’t complain. I cannot bake or even cook but the more children I have the better bartender I’m becoming. Flexibility is a prerequisite. I’d love to get really specific and discuss pop culture preferences but I’m fishing in a small pond already. Let’s just say if you got my Lloyd Dobler reference we can hang.

As a part of my hunt, I recently read Women Are Scary by Melanie Dale. The book is a humorous instructional manual on how to meet, make, and keep mom friends. I’m almost 100% certain that, write and post your own mom-friend classified, was not one of Melanie’s suggestions but desperate times call for desperate measures. And who knows, perhaps, I’ll have a Mary Poppins moment where my torn up and burnt ad will magically ride the breeze to my new MBFF.

If this doesn’t work, I might staple my ad to nearby telephone poles with a picture of me looking puppy-eyed.

“If you’re not into yoga” and you too are seeking a mom soulmate, write to me. And/or if there’s a mom-version of Tinder, please let me know.

And if YOU are looking for you’re MBFF, check out our Neighborhood Mom Groups, located all around the Twin Cities.  Find yours HERE.