I have a problem. It’s not world hunger, more like a #maybeIshouldworrymoreaboutworldhunger size problem. I have no mom-friends. I have friends (friends with kids even), but none of them live within 20 miles of me. In fact, most of them don’t live in the same state. We moved here two years ago and as a result of living in a triplet-toddler-time-warp and an all-consuming fixer-upper of a house, I still have not found my people. I tried chatting up moms at baseball practice. I tried setting up outings with other moms but nothing has stuck. My efforts have yet to result in any mom-dates unless Lloyd Dobler’s “I sat across from her at the mall” counts as a date.
I feel like Cat Stevens, “another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody.”
My husband and I are college sweethearts, so I don’t have any experience with online dating, but I feel like it could be useful here. Since I clearly have no clue how the whole thing works, I wrote a mom-friend classified.
SAHM with 7 yo B and 3 yo BBB triplets seeks MBFF for LTR and FTA. Must have GSOH! Prefer kids of similar ages, added bonus if DHs get along. Not WTR or even commute. WLTM for PDs and GNs as often as possible (hah!).
The lyrical version of this started with “if you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain” but then I remembered how much kids whine when it rains during playtime. Since the blogosphere allows for more detail (and hopefully fewer serial killers), here is the expanded version of what I am searching for:
I don’t care if you’re a babywearing or stroller pushing mom, a breast or bottle feeder, cry-it-out or co-sleeping parent. I’d love to hear about whatever works for you but no judging please. Age is less important than coolness. By this I mean, please do not be too hip, because I can’t keep up with that (I recently had to Google “bye, Felicia”). If you can bake, I definitely won’t complain. I cannot bake or even cook but the more children I have the better bartender I’m becoming. Flexibility is a prerequisite. I’d love to get really specific and discuss pop culture preferences but I’m fishing in a small pond already. Let’s just say if you got my Lloyd Dobler reference we can hang.
As a part of my hunt, I recently read Women Are Scary by Melanie Dale. The book is a humorous instructional manual on how to meet, make, and keep mom friends. I’m almost 100% certain that, write and post your own mom-friend classified, was not one of Melanie’s suggestions but desperate times call for desperate measures. And who knows, perhaps, I’ll have a Mary Poppins moment where my torn up and burnt ad will magically ride the breeze to my new MBFF.
If this doesn’t work, I might staple my ad to nearby telephone poles with a picture of me looking puppy-eyed.
“If you’re not into yoga” and you too are seeking a mom soulmate, write to me. And/or if there’s a mom-version of Tinder, please let me know.
And if YOU are looking for you’re MBFF, check out our Neighborhood Mom Groups, located all around the Twin Cities. Find yours HERE.
18 comments
I have a 3 year old girl, totally got your reference, and I LOVE to bake. I’m looking for mom friends too, so I understand.
You are hilarious! I completely understand what you mean about it being difficult to make mom friends and having them stick. I also never went through dating as I married my high school sweetheart, so I don’t know where to begin either.
I have a 2 and 3 yr old (both boys) We moved here on 6/1 and while my neighborhood is amazing – I’m always game for more mom friends! Especially bar tending ones 😉
this article made me laugh…and then want to cry a little because I could have written it myself! Just moved to the area in May from out of state and I know zero mom friends within 20 miles. My two boys are 1 & 3 and we are all desperate for more regular social interactions. Perhaps I need to be a little more Lloyd Dobler and hold my boom box up to the windows of moms with young kids in my neighborhood!
I love this response. Im going to get my boombox after work! haha
Start with MOMS Club, if you’re an at-home mom. If you’re a working mom, you could start with a MeetUp group (but hopefully you have some coworkers who have kids the same age, because then BAM you have twice as much in common). If you’re a Protestant Christian, I hear MOPS is a good place to start.
I found some AMAZING people through MOMS Club, including my MBFF. 🙂
Great idea! I loved the MOMS club, helped a whole bunch. 🙂
we moved when my kids were little…I found that groups for moms were really helpful. I found NEWCOMERS where we lived when I had my first child and made friends there. The next move, our town had a MOMS CLUB and that is an international group too. Lots of playgroups and Moms night out opportunities. I have also heard good things about MOPS. I made my really good friend here in a kids music class! Look at Music Together or Kindermusik…
i had to google, “bye Felicia” too!
Try ECFE classes with your triplets, affordable and informative. You will meet other moms in the school district who have kids the same age. I personally have done them with all 3 of mine. Otherwise you are welcome to contact me! Always looking for new mommy friends!
Start with ecfe that is where I have met the most people. You also have to force yourself into groups in mn. Another great way is meet up .com
This is so my life. I moved here in 2009 and I am a *gasp* yankee and so I never really made any friends from the get-go (not saying its because I am a yankee, but that certianly doesnt help, hahaha). I just fojd it so much more difficult to make friends here. Then, my hubs and I had our son in 2013 and I joined a mom group. That didnt last long because I work 40+ hours a week and they were 99% SAHMs. It was almost like, “I think you need to leave this group because you are taking a “spot” away from another SAHM that can host playdates weekly and be in our book club.” hahaha. Sigh. I just want a mom friend, Im not asking for a “crew”. Just one best mom friend. Being a working mother is really isolating sometimes. So yes, I can totally relate!
Oh and I happen to love Peter Gabriel.