7 Tools for Writing Moms

I am mom. And I am a writer.

Yes, I write for TCMB, and sometimes people are crazy enough to even pay me to write things. But those things are just outlets for my craft—they make me a blogger and a freelancer. But you don’t have to be published or make money to be a writer.  All you need are eyes, ears, and a pen.

I’ll admit: motherhood has completely shifted how I approach writing. Back when I was young and hip and showered more, I had hours of disposable time to camp out at coffee shops to assign words and sentences to what I felt. Talk about dreamy. Now, I’m lucky if I can squeeze in twenty minutes of keyboard-pounding when my kid naps.

But surprisingly, having less time and structure to write has been helpful.  I may not have large chunks of time (or energy) to put pen to paper, but I find new ways all the time to fit my craft into the daily rhythms of my life as a mom. It has totally re-shaped how I view my role as both mom and writer. Every moment with my little guy, even when it gets messy, is an opportunity for inspiration, a time to observe and savor beauty. And sometimes, in scattered little crevices of my day, I happen to write about it.

You can be a writer, too.  Here are some ideas to get started.

Don’t be afraid of getting messy. The world needs our crap. If you’re like me, and you have a kid (or a tribe of them) whose idea of sleep is screaming for thirty minutes while you tip-toe around an army of talking plastic toys, write about it. Honesty is relatable. It begets empathy, offering access points for your audience to slide into your life and feel alongside you. I don’t know about you, but I may lose my mind if I read one more carefully curated blog post gushing about someone’s perfect birth experience. Hashtag give me all the epidurals.

But don’t rush. Time for hobbies is about as easy to find as your kid’s left shoe when you’re already ten minutes late. I get it. I’m also a “one and done” type personality—so when naptime comes, it’s all about crossing things off the list. But for my writing to really engage others, I have to let it sit and marinate. I started this very post at 10 am. It’s now 1:15, and I’m so glad I didn’t submit it before because I sounded like an over-caffeinated maniac when I read it through (probably still do). Also, some of my best ideas surface as I’m falling asleep, nursing, or cooking dinner. I have noticed that when I step away from my computer, the wild ideas rattling around in my unconscious slip to the forefront of my mind.

Which leads me to the next point. Keep a notebook around. Preferably a metallic polka-dotted spiral. Or invest in Evernote Premium, which I’ve heard is totally worth the few bucks a month. Write down the hilarious nonsensical dreams your kids share with you. Write down what the breeze smelled like during your morning walk. Write it all down if it seems important or inspiring or hilarious or even if it just seems true.

Keep an arsenal.  My favorite writing trick is collecting verbs that stir me. Verbs breathe life and drive specific meaning into language, so every time I read – whether it’s a magazine, newspaper, or novel – I take note of the ones I like. Then when I’m stuck, I look through my list for ideas.  I also keep a notebook of quotes or passages from writers I admire, which has been so helpful in developing my voice.

Approach your day expectantly. Total game-changer. One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from Rainer Maria Rilke in his book Letters to a Young Poet. He says “if your daily life seems poor, don’t blame it; blame yourself, for you are not poet enough to call forth its riches.” I don’t have to be in a whimsical Parisian café or day spa in the Rocky Mountains to get inspired. Riches are right in front of me, in my son’s sweet voice and in my morning cup of coffee.

Write from where you are now.  Some of the most treasured writing advice I’ve ever received came from a mentor shortly after I graduated college: now is the only time to write from where you are and how you feel right now. So when you feel the fire, do it, even if that means dropping your kid in a pack and play in front of Daniel Tiger for a few minutes.

Just write. You’ll be a better mom for it. I used to experience guilt when my husband came home to a sink full of dirty dishes at the end of the day because I used Ollie’s naptime for writing instead of chores. But I promise you. I am a better mom and a better wife when I write. So search for what inspires you, and then do it fearlessly, and always without guilt. Your vibrant, creative life will be a precious gift to your children.